Thursday, April 23, 2009
(no) Sex in the City: Part 3
Dating can be rather exhausting when you think about it. You go to work; you may have a 2nd job, a side hustle, be taking classes, freelancing, or leading an organization. After that, you have your friends that you like to hang-out with, add in family time, and experiencing city-living as a 20 something year-old and top it all off with dating; just writing about it is exhausting.
First of all, being out and about and meeting new people is hard work. Friday nights are usually a difficult night to go out on because you're so drained from the work or school week. But I usually mutser up some energy to "put my face out there", to let people know I'm still around and maybe meet some new guys. When you do go out, it's great to meet a guy with some intriguing potential, but a downer when your schedule's don't align. You find out that you both can't agree on a time to hang-out. He has basketball games on Tuesday night, you have Yoga on Wednesday, he's meeting his boys to watch the game on Thursday; you get the point. The worst part is when you're trying to set up the initial meeting and you keep playing phone tag. And if this ends up happening, one side usually gives up the pursuit or pursuing. You could possibly prevent this by inviting him to an "errand" date and suggesting an activity that you both would like to do together. Talk a walk around your favorite park, go to an after church bunch, and you'd be surprised how much fun you'll have grocery shopping with a guy (trust me, it's a riot if you go with the right guy).
What about when you meet more than one great guy and you want to date all of them, at once? Isn't that the best problem have, so many boys and so little time? You want to keep all of them around because each has a certain characteristic you like, and its like you're dating the perfect guy buy dating all of them. Not to mention, you can hang out with one when the other is getting on your nerves. As great as this sounds, you might get a little tired managing your time, life, and more than one guy. So prioritize your guys, and alternate weeks. If there's an activity you want to go to and know one guy will like it more than the other, then invite him. Hang-out with the other guy the following week and so on. And it also helps to be upfront with all the men you're dating; let them know you're dating other people, so they'll be a little more understanding when you can't hang.