Monday, April 6, 2009

(no) Sex and the City: Part 1

Do you ever feel like you and your girlfriends are living like the ladies of Sex and the City or Girlfriends? You guys sometimes sit down and talk about dating, relationships, and sex. Well let's face it, being a young recent college grad and dating in a city is frustrating, confusing, and somewhat exhausting. I'll focus on the frustrating aspect for this post.

Frustration; don't you hate going to the same places over and over again and not meeting any new guys that are worth you time? We get all primp and proper before we go out to a club or lounge; with the secret intent to "find a man tonight." Yes, all of us, at one point in our lives have gone out with the intentions of finding a good looking man to exchange numbers with and eventually date. But the problem is, we never find them. I mean you may meet someone you like and find entertaining for a few weeks, maybe months, but usually nothing long-term or stable. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with having fun and dating in your 20s, but there comes a time when you want to be exclusive with a really great guy. So, I've decided to just stop looking. I'm not giving up on dating (no way! I would never ever); but I'm not going to attend events just because there might be some nice guys to meet. I'm going to have fun and live my life. Plus, I think some of the best places to meet guys are non-party scenes like networking events, cocktail parties, when you're in the grocery store, at the gym, or through a mutual friend. Don't they always say good things come when you least expect it?

I also find the "chasing" aspect of the dating game frustrating. What ever happened to guys putting in a little work to get our attention? It seems like every guy I meet wants me to be the one to initiate the conversation or boost his ego by chasing after him. The "get to know you" phase of a relationship should be a two way street. He should put in some effort and should too. So, I'm taking a tip from that good ol' book,"He's Just Not that Into You"; if a guy really wants to date you, he'll find a way. Meaning he'll call you, he may not call you as frequently as you want, but he'll call. Some guys that are really into you worry about looking too desperate or pushy if they call you too much, so give him a break.

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